David Whiting Live

Free Food & Coffee (a great motivator)

This brief post is for those taking EQUIP. Here are three notes:

• Don't forget this Saturday's class is from 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM (instead of 9 to 11)
• As a way to thank you for sacrificing an extra hour of sleep and to thank you for sticking it out in the class - we will have free bagels and coffee Saturday. So arrive a bit early.
• We ran out of "Blame It On the Brain" in the bookstore on Sunday. If you still need a copy to attempt to read some of it before Saturday, just let me know (if you get this via email - just "reply" and it eventually gets to me). Or you can directly contact Alison Delgatti. We will work out a way to get a copy to you before Saturday.

10 Questions to Ask Before Confrontation

This is a great list of questions to ask before you decide to confront someone:

1. Have I asked God to search my own heart for hidden, secret sins of which I need to repent? (Psalm 139:23-24)
2. Have I honestly searched my own life to see if I am guilty of the same sin of which I intend to confront my brother/sister? (Matthew 7:3-5)
3. Am I judging rightly, as Jesus directed, or do I simply have a judgmental attitude? (John 7:24)
4. Have I prayed for my brother's/sister's heart to be tender and receptive to my concern? (Isaiah 57:15)
5. Have I prayed for ears to listen to my brother's/sister's words and a heart to listen to the meaning behind his/her words? (James 1:19)
6. Have I recently been reminded of how I myself am also very vulnerable to temptation? (Galatians 6:1)
7. Have I recently read Romans 6 & 7 and been reminded of my own sinfulness and desperate need for the Gospel and a gracious Savior? (Romans 7:24)
8. Am I willing to be patient and ready to help my brother/sister bear his/her sin burden? (Galatians 6:2)
9. Am I wililng to love my brother/sister enough to speak the truth in love? (Ephesians 4:15)
10. Am I now ready to go to him/her in a spirit of gentleness and humility or am I angry and, therefore, more likely to be harsh? (Galatians 6:1)

These questions were written by Paul Tautges from THIS website.

"Banning Bible Studies" @ Northridge Church

OK - that title is a bit sensational, but it the title of a blog post by one of our volunteer heroes @ Northridge, Brad Files. We have a particular purpose for our small groups and it isn't to have a Bible study. Bible studies are great and small group Bible studies are wonderful, but that isn't the purpose of our small group ministry.

What follows is Brad's post on the topic. You can see the original HERE. (And I'm hoping this pressures Brad back into blogging regularly again...)

Banning Bible Studies

I remember that “Aha” moment clearly. Small Groups are not Bible Studies!

If you’re old, like me, you remember how Christians used to get together – we organized Bible Studies. Many today, especially the older saints, assume Small Groups is just the newer name for Bible studies. My friends, Christian and Shelley, were the first to sit me down and talk this through. “Brad, I really love your teaching. It’s great. But … it’s not really what being a Small Group is about. Small Groups are about people’s lives changing, mostly just from being in the group. As they hang out, interact, discuss, react to and apply the Bible, their lives just change.”

Early on in my Small Group experience we recruited hosts, a worship leader, and a teacher. Of course the great teachers in those House Fellowship Groups were mostly seminary students and many of them are leading churches today. So where do we look when we don’t have a seminary close by or a good supply of Bible teachers? More importantly, is that who we should be looking for? We had a hard time early on recruiting Small Group leaders (SGLs) because they all assumed they had to be good teachers. The irony is that some of our best teachers don’t really make very good SGLs. Why is that?

The ratio of good Bible teachers to the general population in a church is at least 100:1; awesome teachers, probably 1000:1. Yet we find the ratio of great SGLs to the general population is closer to 10:1. So what’s the difference?

        Content

• Bible teachers study and prepare new content to share.

• SGLs use content created by others (like the previous Sunday’s sermon along with a published set of questions) or published curriculum (e.g. listening to a teacher on DVD) and coordinate the reaction to and application of that content.

        Flow

• Bible teachers operate in broadcast mode, beacons of nifty insights, sharing new content which all groups members receive. (One to many.) Often no response from the group is necessary other than the occasionally whispered, “Dude, they should make a video of you!”
• SGLs prompt and cultivate the sharing of current life concerns with an eye towards how the sermon, teaching, etc. might speak to it. Everyone in the group is heard and anyone in the group may be offering insights, encouragements, challenges in response. (Many to many.)
  

        Role

• Bible teachers have a unique role (gifted unlocker of Biblical mysteries) that always keeps them separate from the group. Sometimes the group may have a continuing identity but treat Bible teaching as a necessary service to secure. “Who are we going to get to teach us this quarter?” Teachers may come and go but the group remains.
• SGLs have a more humble, peer approach to the group. They share their role, encouraging others to contribute in every meeting and even getting others to lead the group from week to week. They are more like gardeners, preparing a healthy environment for growth, pulling weeds, and getting out of the way of good things happening.
  

        Gifts

• Bible teachers have a clear gift of teaching. Given the ratios I mentioned above, groups who seek teachers to lead their groups will just be frustrated by third string talent. Groups lucky enough to snag a good teacher will be stuck with him. He won’t be able to share his gift and he will not be easily replaced. This is all besides the point that groups are not best used for teaching, they are best used for growing. The inevitable flow of sharing from the teacher to the student is not easily reversed.
• SGLs use gifts of exhortation, mercy, administration and helps to great advantage. They are truly pastors, shepherds who care for their groups. Groups are the place where we drop our defenses and do open heart surgery on each other, sometimes without anesthetic. Gifts like mercy and helps encourage that.

Until your church embraces this paradigm shift, your groups will struggle, probably without knowing why.

Brad is one of our small group coaches. He helps small group leaders lead better. I constantly count on his input and feedback. Thanks, Brad for your leadership!

"Blame It on the Brain?" - A book worth reading

For those in our EQUIP class, you should be reading "Blame It On the Brain" for our next meeting (February 11). For those of you NOT in EQUIP, I would highly recommend you to get this book. It gives a theological basis for how to view head injuries, mental illnesses, and other behaviors. It tackles issues such as depression, A.D.H.D, homosexuality and alcoholism. He write about which of these are sin issues, which ones are malfunctions of the brain, and which ones might be a mixture of the two. It truly would be worth reading.

For those in EQUIP - in case you haven't gotten started or have not read very far, let me point out the chapters that I would urge you to prioritize. Here is what I would recommend if you can't read the entire book by February 11.

• Introduction - Read
• Chapters 1-3 - Read (theological basis for how to view these issues)
• Chapters 4-5 - Optional (Alzheimer's & Head injuries)
• Chapters 6-8 - Read (Intro to Psychiatric Problems, Depression, and A.D.D)
• Chapters 9-10 - Optional (homosexuality and alcoholism)
• Conclusion - Read

I look forward to talking about the issues of medication at the next EQUIP class. As a reminder, we are meeting at 8:00 AM instead of 9:00 AM. Thanks for being flexible. I look forward to seeing you on February 11 at 8:00 AM.

F.A.Q. Survey - Have you taken the survey?

I am getting ready to preach a new series called F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions). If you haven't taken the survey of what questions you want to be part of the survey - could you take two minutes to do so? Click HERE for the survey or you can get there right from the church's website - which is HERE (www.NorthridgeRochester.com).

One other thought--- I wonder if you'd consider forwarding this email to people in your small group or someone who is new to Northridge who may not subscribe to my blog and encourage them to take the survey and subscribe to my blog. It is the best way I can share information and cast vision to the insiders of Northridge. Thanks for considering forwarding it. I know you get nervous to forward emails, so don't forward it to your entire address book or a large group of people, but maybe considering forwarding it a few people asking them to take the survey and considering subscribing to my blog.

(For those who may get this email as a forward - would you consider subscribing? You can receive updates every time I post something new. Click HERE to subscribe or go to www.davidwhiting.org. Thanks for considering it. It is the best way I can regularly connect with the core of our church. When you go to the blog site, on the right hand side you can subscribe by email or various readers.)

And for those who read from afar (you attend another church or live elsewhere) - of course I'm thrilled to have you keep up to date with what we are doing and to provide feedback through the comments.

Don't forget to take the survey. If you click on the F.A.Q. graphic above, you will be taken to the survey also.

Yesterday's Baptisms @ Northridge (videos)

Yesterday @ Northridge (1/29), we had two more baptisms. I love these stories. In case you missed one or both of them, here are the videos:

Sean Hinkley's baptism (9:15 service)

2012.01.29 - Sean Hinkley Baptism from Northridge Media on Vimeo.

Sean Scott's baptism (11:00 AM service)

 

2012.01.29 - Sean Scott Baptism from Northridge Media on Vimeo.

 

 

Generic Ketchup @ Pete's Diner - part 4

OK - this is my final post on "generic ketchup." You can catch all the previous posts here: (part 1, part 2, and part 3)

Here are four final applications:

• I think facilities are a big issue on the application of generic ketchup. At home, I don't notice dirty walls anymore unless we are painting a room - then every dirty wall needing paint stands out. I don't even notice that our 11year old carpet looks pretty bad in some places unless I intentionally look at it through the eyes of someone coming to buy our house. Churches need to look at their facilities through the eyes of those who are looking for a church to attend, serve in, give to, and have their children married in. Facilities matter.
• The leaders of a church need to be the ones who speak for the first-time guests because they likely won't give feedback - even if we ask for it. We need to look at our facilities through the eyes of visitors. We need to listen to our music - its excellence and how easy it is to learn through the perspective of those who are new. I want to make sure the preaching is challenging, understandable, and interesting - even if they disagree with what I say.
• There are some things that loyal customers are willing to overlook that a new customer may not be willing to overlook.  In church, this might be the lady with the really terrible vibrato in her voice that no one really enjoys listening to but she's been doing it for so long and it would hurt her feelings if we don't ask her to sing - so the regulars don't really mind it. Out of love, they let her keep singing, ten years beyond when she should have retired from solos. The impact of that on the new visitor who is not mature in Christ is not positive.
• Old and run down might work well for diners (my daughters prefer one in town), but I don't think it works well for churches. Diners have a nation-wide reputation for being old, run-down, but great prices and great food. Old, run-down yet effective diners are common. Ugly, smelly yet effective churches are not.

One final thought - just because something would make us more popular and make it more comfortable for new people doesn't mean we should do it. In no way am I espousing that theory. The Gospel will always offend. 75 minute services will be too long for most unbelievers. Me preaching for 45 minutes isn't affective with lost people unless God is drawing them. Speaking out about issues of biblical truth and morality will turn people away quickly. We are okay with all of those things. In no way am I applying generic ketchup to truth and the Gospel. But I think it should apply to almost everything else.

Finally, I appreciate those who have sent me notes pointing out some generic ketchups we still have at Northridge. All of them (three so far) have been great to think through! Thanks!

Generic Ketchup @ Pete's Diner - part 3

The last two days, I've talked about generic ketchup. You can read part one HERE and part two HERE.

Let me give some applications to church life:

• Here is the primarly application - excellence matters. We often say that excellence honors God and inspires people. I don't think that means you have to spend a lot of money to be excellent. It simply means that whatever we do - we need to do it well.
• We must look at our church facilities through the eyes of new people. At Northridge, we know that many who walk in our door for the first time are either non-believers, new believers, or immature believers. So the look of our facility matters. If they are turned off while checking out Northridge - let it be by the Gospel, not because the facility creeps them out a bit.
• We tell our new employees and new interns that they are very valuable to us in their first six months because they will see things that we don't notice anymore. They will ask, "Why do you do that?" And sadly, we never thought about how ineffective that was. And we try very hard to see everything through a new person's eyes, but once you are no longer new - it is really difficult to see it through new eyes.
• We need to try to get feedback from new people. They will help us see things we don't notice. We likely won't change some or many of them, but being aware of what is hard to swallow for a visitor is very important. For example, we choose to stand and sing for ten to twenty minutes straight every week. That is not visitor friendly, but at this point - for the sake of corporate worship, we do it. But we need to be aware of that tension.

A few more applications tomorrow...

Generic Ketchup @ Pete's Diner - part 2

Yesterday, I mentioned my thoughts on restaurants that serve generic ketchup. You can read that HERE.

Here are a few more thoughts I have on generic ketchup (while thinking of church applications):

• I noticed the regulars never notice generic ketchup. They are used to it. It doesn't bother them and they don't think it should bother new people either. 
• In fact, the management and owners are focused on pleasing the regulars rather than focusing on making the best impression on first-time customers. By doing so - they are all overlooking glaring problems.
• No one speaks for the first-time customer. If a regular doesn't like something, they will speak up. If a new customer to the restaurant doesn't like something, they won't say anything. They simply won't return. (This one happens in churches all the time!!)
• There are some things that loyal customers are willing to overlook that a new customer may not be willing to overlook.
• Even some positive, good changes will causes regular customers to complain, but the changes were helping new customers. Loyal customers may not like a new menu because they knew where everything was on the old one. Our family recently went to a restaurant to use a Groupon that was close to expiring. Apparently, a ton of other people were using it that night also - the restaurant was very busy! I'm sure regular customers were annoyed that on a week night there was a wait. But with 700 Groupons sold (what our server told us), I imagine that restaurant was introduced to many brand new customers. Regular customers don't want to be inconvenienced so that new customers can be attracted to the restaurant.
• Loyal customers tend to be blind to obvious faults that new people see immediately. That could be a smelly entryway (at our family's favorite diner), ripped cushions in the booths, plates and coffee cups that are so old, they look dirty even though they are perfectly clean, etc...
• Old and run down might work well for diners (my daughters prefer one in town), but I don't think it works well for churches. Diners have a nation-wide reputation for being old, run-down, but great prices and great food. Old, run-down yet effective diners are common. Ugly, smelly yet effective churches are not.

Tomorrow, I'll get specific as to what I think some primary applications are to generic ketchup.

In speaking of loyal customers. My friend, who took me to Pete's Diner, didn't want me to take a picture of it because he is so loyal.  I wanted to get the front of the restaurant - it displays the very point of some of my thoughts above, but he drove away too quickly. but I did manage to get the sign...

Generic Ketchup @ Pete's Diner - part 1

I went out of town Monday and met a great, old friend for breakfast on Tuesday. He took me to his favorite, local breakfast spot - Pete's Diner.

We drove up and it looked like a typical diner (not sure what that means to you, but to me it means old, not particularly "shiny" or clean, a bit run down). But that's ok... I wasn't turned off by the outside or inside look of the place - I've been to enough diners to know that doesn't necessarily reflect on the quality of food. But I did get turned off when I sat down and saw the generic ketchup.

When I see generic ketchup at a restaurant, I image this: If they are willing to save a penny per customer (two pennies at the most) by using generic ketchup and this is one of the most visible foods, then how are they saving money in the kitchen? And all of a sudden, I don't want to eat there anymore.

The worst is a restaurant here in my town that I used to go to for breakfast. Not only was it generic ketchup, but the labels were falling off the plastic, generic ketchup bottle. And you'd open the cap to pour out the ketchup and it was obvious that the dried on ketchup around the cap wasn't just a few hours or even days ago... It might be MONTHS old. In other words, not only were they using generic ketchup, but they were REFILLING the generic ketchup bottles. I avoid that local diner whenever possible (unless the person I'm meeting picks it).

And I don't avoid it because I hate generic ketchup. I'm not sure I can tell the difference. But it tells me something about the restaurant's priorities. And for the first time, while sitting there with my friend on Tuesday morning, the application to church hit me.

What messages are we sending to new people when we do things with less than excellence? What are the "generic ketchups" in our building (cheap things that we don't even notice anymore)? What message is being received by new people that we aren't intending to send, but we are clearly sending when we save a few bucks and put "generic ketchup" on the table?

I'm not sure if that is as clear when I write it as when I think it. More tomorrow...